D.I.A

who are we?

It’s a question we constantly ask ourselves.

John

Strengths
  • Incredible tolerance to the physical and emotional pain of others
  • The Science
  • Is probably a Technomancer
Weaknesses
  • Humans1
  • Clowns
  • Puppets
  • Clown puppets
Spirit Animal: Cordyceps fungus5

 

Tim

Strengths
  • Good at fantasy football
  • Beard is allegedly the vessel for an Ancient One2
  • Former child star
Weaknesses
  • Cows3
  • Plaid
  • Snakes
  • 3-7 offsuit
Spirit Animal: Armored Polar Bear

 

Jason

Strengths
  • The law4
  • Boardgames
  • Knowledge of 90s pop culture
  • Officiating weddings
Weaknesses
  • Doesn’t know good video games
  • Probably likes Bieber
  • Belle, Hermione Granger, Anna Kendrick, and other fictional women
Spirit Animal: Donke

 

Paul

Strengths
  • Karaoke
  • Pick up lines
  • Online Dating
Weaknesses
  • Karaoke
  • Pick up lines
  • Inability to cheat or bend a rule in a cold, cruel world
Spirit Animal:

 

Andrew

Strengths
  • Partying
  • Is from Wisconsin, where all the cool kids are from
  • Has a doppelgänger
Weaknesses
  • Doesn’t have a TV
  • Dog-owning
  • Showing up to trivia
Spirit Animal:

 

Kiley

Strengths
  • Does voices and sound effects
  • Has "connections" in Hollywood
  • Designing poop-related technology for kids
Weaknesses
  • Anything related to Adventure Time
  • Doesn’t like Star Wars
  • Hasn’t seen Back to the Future or The Dark Crystal
Spirit Animal:

 

 

Dan

Strengths
  • Serving his country proudly
  • Fathering children
  • Taking stuntmen
  • Meeting Gracies, but not actually introducing his teammates to them
Weaknesses
  • I-5
  • Strip club gift shops
Spirit Animal:

 

 

Current Divisional Standings

We play at A Pizza Mart in the U-District. This is how we stack up to the competition.
Current as of
Next tourney on

Pictures and videos

Sometimes, something happens that’s actually worth documenting.

Challenges and stunts

Every week, John likes to come up with a ridiculous challenge for the rest of the team to complete.
Occasionally, someone is crazy enough to actually do it on video.
Challenges coming soon…

  1. Not all of them. Just the stupid ones. ↩

  2. DIA accepts no responsibility in the extremely unlikely event that we successfully rouse the malevolent master from his slumber. ↩

  3. Sexy, sexy cows. ↩

  4. Theoretically? We are sort of taking it on faith. It is entirely possible he just slept his way to the top. ↩

  5. Allegations that John has forced people to clamp their jaws to a blade of grass before dying are entirely unsubstantiated. ↩